Please Don't Eat The Onions!

I had to negotiate with Grandma to let me write this blog post. She didn’t want to post it because it was scary, she said. She also didn’t want to seem like “one of those grandmas that doesn’t have her ducks in a row.” For the record, she doesn’t have any ducks, so I don’t know what she’s putting in a row. Anyway, I won. I had to promise a full evening of uninterrupted rock painting. Oooof. 

 

Besides, I gave Grandma that look!

First of all, let me start with it’s busy around here. We are harvesting stuff from the garden. There are jars of all sizes, lids, big pots, towels, hot water, big jar grabber things, knives, smells, timers, and veggies and fruits everywhere. I think we are on a mission to feed four families if the trucks stop bringing food to the markets. Grandma even bought more food for me, “just in case,” she said with a kiss. (It’s happening again, Mom and Dad. She hasn’t started storing things in your bedroom though, so don’t worry.)

 

One of the things Grandma harvested was a bunch of onions. She put them out to dry in the sun room and pretty soon the stems were long and dry. I found them and decided that they were more fun than my feather or wand put together. I snuck in there and bit on the stems and pulled with my teeth and claws. I ate a little bit of the long, dry stems and I loved the sound of them tearing and snapping and crackling. 

Grandma took pictures of me and shared with Mom. And Mom, being the best mom ever, put a stop to my fun. She looked it up on her google thing and found out how toxic onions are to cats and told Grandma. You shoulda seen Grandma’s face. I think this is when her ducks scattered! They both read and read while I wondered if I was gonna live! The onions are in time-out in the garage now and I don’t have visitation rights. Grandma called the vet and it was determined that I would be okay, especially since it was going into a holiday weekend and vets' offices are closed or over-crowded. Grandma said, "Ooof" and other words. She watched me so closely for two days that her eyes almost bled and I didn’t have any privacy at all. Just saying. If you have a cat, don’t even tell them about onions.

 

Next, and better news, Grandma got water fountains for two of the toilets. I don’t really know why because I can’t drink out of them, and I never see them shooting out any water. But she said that when we all run out of TP we will be glad we have fountains. And we’re going to save a tree or two, she said. It’s a mystery to me. 

 

And speaking of mysteries, Grandma has two new wrap-around aprons for gardening, housework, cooking, rock painting and whatever that her friend Mary told her about. They have big pockets for things like cat treats, her phone and (here it is… ready?) her bar of chocolate. Now you know where she hides the good stuff. Quack. 

 

Love,

Uma